Frito-Lay

As my third week at Frito-Lay draws to a close, I figure it's about time I calm the masses hounding me for a post. Just kidding. I was a little distracted at Forrest and Abbie's. :)

Some highlights that I either experienced on the phone or heard about:

Most original names
Wykeitha
Shamika
Tamika
Bunny
Teena
Ninfa
Jea (Jay-uh)
Liberty

Weirdest foreign matter
Piece of wood in Ruffles shaped like a Ruffle (I've gotten several wood calls, but that's the only one that claimed something like that.)
Popsicle stick
Piece of candy wrapper
Dime
Chewing gum in salsa
Bright green chip (timing dye that's used in the plant and should be tossed)
3 or 4" brown fake bird foot in Funyuns bag (This wasn't mine- it was e-mailed to the whole dept.)

Weirdest requests/reasons for calling
Can I buy broken chips?
Can I buy Flamin' Hot seasoning without the chips? (from a kid)
Is Baken-ets a good diet food, like, compared to a hot dog? (Thankfully, I was being mentored that day and my mentor took the call. She had to talk to the guy for a few minutes and compare it to a couple other products before he got the message that it depends on what your idea of a diet is. A little slow on the uptake.)

Most creative pranks
These Cheetos say "dangerously cheesy." Are they really dangerous? Will I die from eating them?
Do Sunchips really contain sun?

Most long-winded
The woman who kept talking about her health problems (ick) and asking about the weather.

Most not-quite-on-this-planet
People in general get this one for...
calling the UPC the UPS or the UCP
not being able to find the barcode or the net wt.
...and the lady who called Ruffles "Ripples"

Funniest comment about my name
Is that your real name?

Ding-dong questions
An Indian mom with allergy concerns asking about Frito-Lay sunflower seeds: Do they contain any milk, eggs, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, lentils, or chickpeas? (No ma'am, they contain sunflower seeds and salt.)

Why are Cheetos Puffs so cheesy?

Best compliment
The 3 little black sisters who passed around the phone telling me how much they love Flamin' Hot Cheetos, then sang a gospel-ish song about it.

Letters
An envelope with the bottom of a bag inside and nothing else. On the inside of the envelope was written "no computer." What the heck is that supposed to mean?

These I have to quote...

"Dear Chester Cheetah, we have a question for you. Our question is, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR RECIPE? Because the Cheetos have not been really cheesy. It's not just us, look at all the people who signed our petition...P.S. You did want comments, it says on the bag." (enclosed was the petition with paw prints drawn on it, but we didn't change Cheetos)

"I am an eighth grade student writing to say that I love your Doritos products. The Cool Ranch Doritos are my all time favorite. I eat them almost every day at lunch at my middle school. They make every lunch complete with the taste of bursting flavor. All I ask of you is to keep making delicious snacks, and satisfying us kids cravings of delicious flavors. Believe me these Cool Ranch chips really give our taste buds a party! Other snacks such as cheese doodles and potato chips jsut don't compare to your very original flavored chips. Please, keep the Doritos snacks coming!!"