Week 15

Best names
Louanne
Lehann
Ruby
Cornelia
Alma
Yolanda
Niki
Shunna
Shali
Shallisa
Dauntell
LaMenta
Derell Kentrell

best last name
Szczubelek

Best cities
Zanesville OH
Neversink NY
Hephzibah GA
Satellite Beach FL
Kents Store VA

Best foreign matter
worm
bandaid

Best tip-off that it's a prank
...when the guy says "uhhh...I just found a cigarette butt in my bag...and I swallowed it...is that the first time you've gotten this complaint?" *giggles in background*


Best alternate name for Ruffles
"waffle ones"


Most quotable consumer
(after reporting an over-salted bag) "I hope you find a big possum or mouse in the salt shaker and get rid of him!"


Best reasons to call
-to ask what our secret ingredient is
-to ask if there's any potassium in Fritos
-to ask why there's salt in Cheetos
-to rant and rave in one very long breath about your stale Funyuns and then hang up (maybe it's a better stress reliever than the alternative?)
-to ask if the 10-cent coupons someone's trying to use at your store are real
-to say you just got a new puppy...and by the way, have we ever considered putting a dog on the bag?
-to ask if we can send you several copies of a glossy, fold-out Sunchips ad in a magazine so you can share its "living green" tips with your friends

-to ask if I have a computer at my house, and if so, am I familiar with such-and-such penguin website?