Frito-Lay Week 11

Best names
First names
Lue
Barbie
Decky
Evonne (like Yvonne)
Dody
Raketa
Tracine
Kanesha
Ralana
Atiya
Shyra
Lorna
Rinda
Perri
Deba
Ivey (her North Carolina accent was so bad I didn't know what it was until she spelled it)

Last names
Shammama
Croak
Boozer
Hefty ("like the bag"--hyuk hyuk hyuk)

Best locations from which to call
Council Bluffs, IA (just for Dad)
Omaha, NE (again, just for Dad)
Lewisville, TX (no place better!)
Lackawanna, NY (who named that town?)

Weirdest foreign matter
Velcro
A piece of beef (I doubt that's what it really is)

Captain Obviouses of the week
After asking what kind of oil Fritos are cooked in and I said corn, CO #1 said, "Is that the same as canola?"

After I apologized that his chips were stale, CO #2 said, "It's not your fault, lady!"

Trickiest question to answer
Do Hot Cheetos make you fat? (that was from a little girl, too...)

Most confused about who's on the other end of the line
The lady who complained about her Smartfood popcorn and asked for a coupon to replace it. I told her she could use the coupon for any Frito-Lay product. She said, "Oh, Frito-Lay makes this?" I said yes, we do. She said, "Oh, you're Frito-Lay?"

Best past participle of bought
"boughten"

Best guilty conscience
My friend Andrew got a lady who said all 24 bags in her variety pack were stale. He's known to get annoyed with those calls and told her that was next to impossible. She fessed up and said it was really only 6 of the bags. According to Andrew, he asked her why she lied and she said she just got confused.

The numbers
The states with the most callers this week:
1. CA 30
2. TX 29
3. FL 25
4. NY 24
5. MI 21
6. IL 19
7. OH 17
8. NC, MO, IN, WA 11
9. PA, AZ, NJ 9
10. GA, KY 8

A side-note: I love when people say the state abbreviation when they're giving me their address, as if I don't know....?? Or when they spell easy names and street names like Sanders and Lakeview, when I can hear them just fine.

I was excited that there was a bunch of mail this morning. We're supposed to do 5 pieces a day, but there hasn't been any for the past couple weeks. Or maybe the mail hogs just take it all.

Best letter to put back and let someone else deal with
Dear Frito Lays Company,
I'm happy to say that, even though your products are salty goodness, think about the people out there that eats your products and continue to get obese. Have you ever thought some people can keep eating your products and something can happen to them? If something happens, would you take responsibility for what happens?

Easiest letter to deal with (by not responding!)
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'm writing to complain about the change in your products; specifically, from see-thru packaging to non see-thru, Lay's regular potato chips, KC Masterpiece barbeque chips and regular corn chips. I have been eating Lay's products since I was a kid and have recently noticed a change in your products. I called your customer service department a couple of months ago and was told that ONLY the packaging had been changed; but obviously that is not true. I don't understand why you continue to lie to your customers and tell us the sky is brown when we can definitely see it's blue. So I have sought out local brands and have found them to be more satisfying. Please don't send me any more coupons, or computer-generated letters. And you don't need the UPC codes because all of the products I mentioned above were purchased before their expiration dates and at different stores. I threw away the last coupons you sent me because I'm not interested in purchasing your product anymore. You have just lost a lifetime customer permanently. And I'm sure other customers have already and will do the same as I have done.

Best child letter for this week (also on graph paper)
Dear Frito-Lay Inc,
I am Chetan Malhotra. I am a big fan of your product Cheetos. I have been eating this product since 4 years. I used to eat your product Cheetos in India before I came to USA. I am really satisfied with the taste and freshness your product has. I really hope you guys keep your product Cheetos going. I will keep purchasing and keep eating your product. I love Cheetos and I'll keep loving it.