Week 4

It was soooo nice getting a day off this week. And having a half day on Friday. And getting paid for it. Thanks, Memorial Day! It was also fantastic getting a free lunch on Thursday, thanks to Subway Appreciation Day--ironically enough, though, it wasn't Subway. It was better. Oh, Frito, how I love you. Who else has a Subway Appreciation Day? It was a ridonculously busy week, though. Again, thank you, Memorial Day. And everyone who went on vacation.

Youngest job seeker
14. Who calls a company like Frito at 14 and asks for a job?

Best suggestion for changing Baked Tostitos
Less salt, fewer calories, and more protein. It won't still be a tortilla chip after you do that. Or as some people say, tortiLUH chip.

Dumbest question
"Do Flamin' Hot Cheetos contain pork?" And when I said yes, "Is that only in Mississippi or everywhere?" He wasn't even calling from Mississippi.

Weirdest question
"We just found a bag of chips in the drain pipe here at my work and want to know how old they are." What??? They were from 2006, btw. Gross.

Best beginning to a call
"I'm attempting to chomp on a bag of Cheetos." You may want to try chomping on the Cheetos.

Best guess for the Doritos The Quest flavor
Trix (the cereal) with ranch. Are you snerious?

Crazy of the week runner-up
She started with, "I'm one of your top-notch people in getting your products. I'm happy to report they're amusing to my taste buds." This was essentially a very enthusiastic 10-minute coupon request.

Crazy of the week
When I answered, she very-urgently-like-her-life-depended-on-it said, "What's your best-selling product?" I told her I didn't know and she cut in with, "See if someone else knows. I need a quick answer." Of course no one did, so I told her Nacho Cheese Doritos, which I figured was right (it is--thanks Dad). She said, "Oh...well I have a bag of broken chips here" and the rest of the conversation had nothing to do with Doritos. She said things like, when I asked for the manufacturing code, "do I have to say all the numbers?" and "don't put anything mean about me--I don't want to get in trouble." She wouldn't give me her first name, her phone number, or the name of the store where she bought the bag. Talk about paranoid. At the end she asked me for my name and said, "That's a cute name. Goodbye." Thanks for calling Frito-Lay.

Letters

Gangsta of the week
Chairman,
My name is Reggie and I'm written you with the concern of 2 bags of chips that I bought with your company. No I'm not mad I'm just upset cause I was in the position of being able to buy 3 bags of chips and a honeybun. So you ask yourself how mad you'll be; if you bought some chips and as you eaten them; they are unfresh to top that off. That was all the change that I had after leaven the club (I don't know if you Club or not) but I don't and when I leave I feel Well afterwards. I ain't trippin; I just want to know what the Company gone do to about the situation. Which I love eaten them

What am I supposed to do with this one? All I have to go on is the word "crushed"
Dear Fritoe Lay consumer affairs
There a problem on the large Size Bags Chips I Bought costly $9.99 and the Bag Diffrent Flavors one they the company Lies about What they Say Customer Didn't get the product! There no ways and crushed very in Tolernce of the company so go to product replace customer wishes
xxxooo

Cry me a river
Arguing as a Consumer
Frito Lay's Cracker Jack's definitely hit popular culture in 1908 when the song, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," was written during a 30-minute subway ride by Jack Norworth. Ever since, Cracker Jack's have become a well-known, delicious snack to anyone who tries them, especially if you are sitting at a baseball game.
I had the opportunity to go to the Rockies versus Phillies game just two weeks ago with some friends and my brother. As my friend Jesse and I noticed, after we finished about half the box already, that we still hadn't gotten any peanuts yet! Every handful we grabbed after that was inspected and checked in hopes that we would get a peanut with our popcorn. Handful after handful, we were getting more and more disappointed in the lack of peanuts we found in the popcorn, until we got to the very bottom of the box. The peanuts were all sitting at the bottom and now there wasn't enough popcorn to go with the overwhelming amount of peanuts we had!
Of all the Cracker Jack lovers out there, I don't know if anyone could argue that the peanuts are not the key ingredient and best ingredient that Cracker Jack offers us in their popcorn mixture. The disappointment that came over us was so moving that I immediately came to the conclusion of writing to you, Cracker Jack, to see if you could make any improvements. You have proved with history that you create good and delicious products, and I'm not saying that Cracker Jack's aren't delicious. I think with all the new innovations out there, that you could develop something to make the peanuts stick better to the popcorn.
Something as simple as having the peanuts stuck to the popcorn and not just floating around and gathering at the bottom of the barrel could be another huge step for improving your already delicious product. I can't imagine how great Cracker Jack's would be after this simple improvement. I even think it would bring a lot of new indulgers to the table for your company. So, I ask you to please consider this new innovation so your fans can keep cheering at baseball games and not looking down at their peanut-less hands in pure disappointment.

My amusement at her title and pedantics on the history of CJ quickly turned to annoyance when I got to the part about the CJ actually having peanuts! What is she complaining about?? Ridonculous. Thanks for a big fat waste of time, Julie. Also highly annoying that she refers to it as Cracker Jack's.

Most self-righteous correspondant
This was addressed to the "flavor engineer." Yep, that's me.

Dear Frito Lays,
I've eaten Ms Vickie's Jalapeno chips before, so the other day I decided to try the above-mentioned "Salty Sweet Kettle Corn" variety, as it was on sale at Target. Unfortunately, when I opened the bag, I was surprised to see an entire giant bag of CARAMEL CORN! You know, where the "sugar" topping is no longer granulated because its flavor has been intensified by high heat! Sorry, but Kettle Corn is not Caramel Corn. Kettle corn has granulated sugar on it, not caramelized. Look it up on wikipedia; I'm sure Dallas has access to Wikipedia.org too. Anyway, now I am totally afraid to try some of the other Miss Vickies flavors. Will the "Country Onion" flavor actually be "Caramelized Country Onion"? Will the "Creamy Buttermilk Ranch" have a "Scalded Buttermilk Ranch" taste? I will never know. Too scared to buy them. Anyway, again, think about reformulating your recipe. I took the unopened, uneaten bag of "Kettle Corn" to work and put it on the Free Food Table, where the sharks I work with go to feast on the most misfit of snacks and lo, three days later, the Ms Vickie's is still there! I guess everyone was disappointed, like me.
Your Pal,
Lynne

Um, you're not my pal, Lynne.

Longest way to say "I didn't like your chips"
Hello,
It's unfortunate that I decide to write to you when I'm disappointed with your product as opposed to enjoying it buy frankly I think that paying for your product is the biggest copliment I can give you. I'm a loyal customer for years, if I have an addicted it would be eating sandwiches and it doesn't go down with out a bag of cheetos and water. I started out with the original cheese, then flaming hot, and now the jalapeno cheddar is my favorite. I have to admit that I was pretty excited when I saw you guys coming up with new flavors, and jumped at the chance to try them out. But the reason for my letter is about my disappointment with the new products. I tried three falvors in a row and threw away the bags half way through because I could not finish them. First one I tried was the new red spicy cheese puffs, I'm guessing it's the same flavor used on the new funions. The color is very odd, the taste is very chemical (true of all three flavors I tried), and with out being gross it's very bad for your body (I can explain if you would like). Second one was the white cheddar cheetos. In a taste test, I would never recognize that it was a cheddar flavor, it was very weak and for who ever likes it there was barley any in that bag, about a third full. And last is the one I'm tossing out as I write this letter, crunchy chili lemon cheetos, worst one of the bunch. A very citric acid taste that compliments the bad Texas chili taste in there distastefully. I don't know what's going on in your testing labs, but as a good customer I worry you are heading in the wrong direction. I can be a taste tester for you if you would like but I'm sure you have qualified people working for you. Ultimately I don't like to waste food and I surly hate wasting my money. So if you would, I would like my money back for these bags, or you may send me replacement bags of the flavors I enjoy. Thank you very much for you time and your product and hope that this letter is helpful in some way since it is from a loyal customer. Nope.
P.S. your new TV advertisements with Chester are very entertaining. That's nice.