Summer's spot: Week 7

Best names
Millie
Annjeanette
Selisha
Shekira (she-KI-ruh)
LaSonia
Tawanda
Oresha
Rana (like Renee)
Deandrea
Vonda
Portia
Shatibah
Maxene
Keldrick
Elizabeth Manning
and a name from one of Mr. Lane's CD order forms: Graham Almond
last names
Zink
Crabb
Serene
Drouillard (a great French name--incidentally, one of the members of the Lewis & Clark expedition that I'm reading about right now)

Best towns
Carl's Corner, TX
and good old Pflugerville, TX

Best street name
Do Drop In Ln (Dewdrop Inn? Huh?)

Best foreign matter
I think I got a straight line to it this week--ugh. But the winner is:
a bullet! I asked her if she was sure it was a bullet and she said, "It's a .30 caliber" like "I know my guns--don't mess."

Best Quest guess (wow say that five times fast)
margarita

Best reasons to call
-to ask how to get back your sister's medicine that she dropped in the dumpster behind our plant
-to ask if you're going to die because you "accidentally ate all the salt in the bottom of the bag."
-to freak me out by starting with, "I'd like you to record this message."
-to assure me that whatever is wrong with your chips is "a small matter, but it's important."
-to sing, "How the winds are laughing, they laugh with all their might..."
-to present an original jingle for our new product, Lay's Cracker Crisps, that goes something like this:
Cracker crisps
Cracker crisps
Tastes like a cracker...but crisps
-because one of your customers at your store is looking for a certain flavor of chips--not to request it for him, but to make sure our phone number works.
-to ask if we still make something that's been discontinued and suggest that we "just give some to Steven Colbert--he'll sell them."
-to tell me your chips are skinnier than an anorexic girl
-to say you appreciate my niceness
-to suggest, not more seasoning, but an extra seasoning packet inside bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos to be added if desired. Yuck.
-to ask if we can put more meat on the nachos that AMC movie theaters serve. I kept telling him we have nothing to do with how they serve their nachos but he didn't seem to believe me--they use Tostitos, so we must be really involved. (I don't even know if that's true.) Logan just said, "Oh, I didn't know PepsiCo owned AMC. But you never know--after all, PepsiCo is a HUGE corporation."

More funnies
When I asked if there was anything else I could help with: "I thought I was helping you!"

When I answered the phone: Who are you calling, honey?
me: Actually, you called me. This is Frito-Lay.
her: I didn't call you.

I also had someone call me "sir."

Funniest things overhead from my neighbor Karen's conversations
"You're not 16."
"A minute ago you said it was a cockroach."
"I don't have a 5-gallon bucket."

Dr. Kroger case of the week
Robert. He started by saying something about Coca-Cola's water being contaminated, then that FL stock was so great to invest in. Then he said, "Can I talk to the chairman of the board? I guess I'm talking to her." I guess I've been promoted.
me: Is there anything else I can help you with?
him: Can I get your measurements?
me: Not today. What city and state are you calling from, please?
him: Trenton, NJ, the capital of the world.
I later had three other people tell me he called back and asked to talk to me/asked when he could come see us/send me a sweater for my birthday. He's in a mental institution.

Letters
Dear Frito-Lay,
Hi, our names are Lindey and Qingyu. We are fifth grade students and are doing an essay on plactic packaging. We have a few questions to ask you. We were wondering when you became environmentally conscious? Do you think you will keep it up? Also, why is there so much extra plastic when it just covers up air? It seems like the bags are much bigger than they need to be to hold the amount of chips inside. Another question is do you think you are going to do more than you already have to help the environment, and do you think you will advertise more about being environmentally friendly? Thanks you for considering out question and for being environmentally conscious. Please write back.